June 14, 2008
Ugh, I just woke up. I think it’s probably sunny outside but I have the curtains drawn in here. I always think my neighbors are spying on me. Sometimes I think I see their curtain move a little and maybe I think I see binoculars in their hands! I am a reality show to them. Sometime, just to test my theory that I’m being spied on, I’ll spill fake blood on my shirt and a little on my face. I will rapidly walk into my apartment and slam my door! Then, walk over to this window across from theirs, so they can see me really well and start rambling to myself loudly while I pace around in the small area “Why’d I do it?? Ah, Jeez! Why’d I do that to her?! I’m sure she was just kidding! She-She didn’t really mean it! I-I-I just loose my temper sometimes!”
Today I have to go to a really expensive restaurant in the Denver Performing Arts Center, called the LimeLight so I can wash their dishes. Robin found me the job on the internet and I went over there for an interview. The guy was kind to me and gave me the job right away. Maybe, he had run over a squirrel the day before and wanted to fix his karma somehow. When he saw me walk in, trailing filth behind me, with that Oliver Twist complex of mine, He felt this was a perfect opportunity to patch it up. I’m not sure yet.
I still have so much to do before I move out of this apartment. I really hate to move! I think the next place I live, I’ll stay there for as long as possible. Packing up all of my stuff and cleaning my bathroom is not at all what I want to be doing on all of these nice summer days. It’ll be fun living with my friend, though and not having to come up with a whole bunch of money every month. Hopefully it will work out better than my first roommate did!
Oh, yeah! Is it just me, or does shaving your face every morning really suck? I have never done it without cutting my face in at least 3 different places!Deep cuts! I dread doing it now! I have to stand in the mirror and yell at myself to “Just Do it! Go on and do it!” and finally I do, and it looks like I shaved with a weed wacker or something.. I have to tell people that “shaving makes me feel alive!” I think I hold the razor too hard against my face… Maybe, It’s because I’ve been using the same razor for 4 years? Just Kidding.
Yo! Shaving every day sucks, which is why I do it every four days or so. I shave when I start to notice my beard being uncomfortable.
I got your book today! So far, it’s great, except for the part about me in the beginning…you don’t actually have things like that happen to you, do you? I’d want to shoot me if I were you, or at least change my last name!
The tagger bit is right on. Like dogs peeing to mark their territory. Hmm, I thought you were nobody, but aren’t you the guy who markered that stop sign at 8th and Walnut? Now I’m starstruck.
I’ll read the rest of this tonight. Good work.
EVS
Wow. Washing all those dishes growing up has finally paid off. Literally.
And at least it’s only your face. Try shaving both legs, both armpits, and other sensitive things every day. You should probably buy a $9 razor though, if you only have a $3 one. It does make a difference.
I seem to be blessed/cursed with weak facial hair. 1 week of growth for me is like 2-3 days of growth for real men, so I typically only shave once a week. I hate it too, especially the upper lip, but I hate going without shaving for too long even more.
Oh, now I know what Santa can bring you this year!
Oh, dang..mom beat me to it! I mean uh..Santa beat me to it. I don’t think anyone has a worse time with facial (or entire body) hair like Orion does. When he was 19 and in basic training..he’d get up early and shave but then have to shave again IN formation because it grows so quickly and they wouldn’t believe he’d shaved beforehand. That man only has a smooth face for an hour after shaving. No lie..and ya know..I suffer too because of it. My poor face!