July 16, 2008
I am writing this in the Denver Public Library near my home. I have to come here now to use the internet. I still haven’t gotten it installed yet. I’m planning on getting to it soon… I started working at Panera bread now in the mornings part-time. I have to wake up at 4:00 in the A.M. which has been pretty rough so far but I’ll get used to it. I have to make this job work. I’m sick off quitting jobs! I am tired of looking for them and then starting your first day! The first day at job is always the most uncomfortable time for me. I stutter a lot and bumble around like a moron. Everyone thinks I am retarded and I already feel stupid for working in the food industry at my old age.
Hannah’s husband, Mike said something to me a couple of weeks ago when I was talking bad about me having to work in a restaurant that I’ve kept in my head and has been helping me out. He just said “There is nothing wrong with working in a restaurant! You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do to bring in money! No matter how!”
So, when I’m there trying to figure out how to use the register screen in front of a giant line of people, and I can feel my face getting red with stress and humiliation, I just keep thinking ” I’ve gotta do this to bring in the money for myself! I’ve gotta stick this out so I can take care of myself!”. And I can already feel it getting better everyday.
Robin has been away in Paris for the past week and she’ll be there another week before she gets home. It’s been pretty lonely around here. Robin is more than a girlfriend to me. She takes care of all the stuff that I hate doing for me. She answers e-mails, sends out my invoices, Fixes my writing mistakes (I’m the worst writer on the planet, I’m sure you know by now.) in my interviews, edits Blammo, maintains noahvansciver.com , tracks down people who owe me money and more! Plus, she’s my best friend as well. It’s strange how it works out because she’s sensitive and sweet and has a lot of emotions and I’m about as emotional as an old brick. But it’s a Yin and Yang sort of thing, I guess. I miss having her with me a lot. I hope this next week goes by pretty fast.
I don’t feel like talking about my cartooning career in this post, but you can rest assured that I am doing very well!