November 24, 2008
Y’know, I’ve been trying to remember if I was angry or sad or anything like that when I was growing up and I can’t even remember anymore. I think I was and remain more passive aggressive than anything else. That comes with the territory of being meek, though. Was I hard to deal with as a teenager? I am now, I’m sure. But, that’s Robin’s problem now. I take some kind of strange, strong pleasure in scaring that girl. Putting on a gorilla mask and jumping out of a closet just to scare her to tears makes me chuckle even as I write this. Am I evil? No. I’m awesome.
I’ve been feeling that sense of hopelessness creeping up on me recently. I think it’s because of the cold weather.I get like this in the winter and for some reason I never have a warm bedroom. I can’t understand it! Every place I’ve lived in is freezing! I can’t get work done like this! I’ve been on the edge this past few days. I just feel like everything I do is stupid and I ought to quit or something. It’s been a very strong feeling lately. Having to constantly bother people is not really in my character, but it’s something that I have to do with my cartoons. I have to make editors understand/believe that I’m worth something.When I send things out in the mail I always imagine my package in a huge pile that won’t even be looked at. It’s rough, but you have to send it out anyway.
I woke up thinking I was sick because my throat was sore. But, it’s just because my room sucks and the heaters are for looks. I’m moving back to Arizona, where I can get beat up and chased home all over again. I guess I should start putting disclaimers on my complaining blogs so nobody gets suckered in to reading this garbage.