HELEN KELLER COULD ANSWER QUESTIONS BETTER THAN ME.
December 22, 2008
Well, The event with John Porcellino at Kilgore is now history. It went well. If you send money to the below address I’ll give you more details. Noah Van Sciver P.O. Box 18888 Denver, CO 80218
My biggest problem with trying to be a famous artist is very obvious: I’m an idiot. It’s sadly true. I am sooo stupid. So, when people interview me or ask me questions (like at this event) I just go blank for a second. Then when I try to get my brain together, it just completely scatters everywhere and I end up saying really stupid stuff. I have trouble thinking. In face to face questioning, I feel like I’m slipping around on ice. But, trust me, I have reasons for doing the things I do in my cartoon work, but if you ask me about it I won’t be able to tell you anything.
I did one interview with Tom Murphy for Cairn magazine about comics over the phone one night that I thought went okay. I mean, as I remember it, I didn’t screw it up and get all shy about my opinions. This interview has never been completed by Tom Murphy though, which leads me to believe that in listening back on the tapes he realized what an imbecile I am and does not want to publish it on their website. It’s an insecurity that keeps me up at night. I keep thinking how he probably doesn’t have the heart to tell me that the interview sucks, And that he can’t bare to transcribe it because my constant stuttering would make him want to quit writing altogether. And so, the only escape from such a life draining transcribing process is to drop it completely! And, just to walk the other way when seeing me walk down the street and hope to god that I’ll let this thing fade away in both our minds.
The trouble is, this isn’t the first interview starring me that has been conducted but never seen again. In September a film crew from Jobing.com dropped by my apartment for a little Q&A sesh (That’s session for those of you who aren’t down with the “urban Lingo”) and after arriving realized that I wasn’t Dr. Seuss, but more of a Dr. Moreau.
Those people won’t even return my e-mails! If anybody feels like it, They should bother These people here about posting this interview on Jobing.com firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com Tell them, you want to see the Noah Van Sciver video!
Some day soon, friends, I will have one of my interviews posted somewhere! Which,time will tell, could be a good thing for me or a bad thing. I will either get exposed as being a great cartoonist/entertainer living and breathing today’s air or a child living in a man’s (HA!) body who somehow got a microphone put to his face. And last but not least, as the sun shines behind my gravestone a shadow shall be cast in the engraved words that say: Noah Van Sciver’s interviews were best in paraphrase.