Complete summer time FEAR!
May 21, 2009
I keep hearing this clicking noise in the corner of my bedroom under a bunch of papers. I’ve been hearing it for a few nights now. It could be some kind of a neon colored bug that crawled in through a hole in the screen looking for security and companionship. I picture a praying mantis that spits cancer juice. But, to tell you the truth, I’m too afraid to investigate any further. So, I sit on this futon cushion, that I use as a bed on the opposite corner of the room, lights out, complete blackness (aside from that oppressive blood red moonlight), papers and empty cans strewn about, in complete fear. Fear that perhaps this clicking noise comes from some kind of amazonian insect. An insect that’s fit for National Geographic magazine. An insect that, god forbid, will find it’s way into my urethra.
But, we’ll see.
There isn’t much escape for me from these tribulations. Even when I go to my job in the morning, lifting a tray or a baking sheet usually interrupts some kind of cockroach rally that was going on. It’s the city, man. One time I ran to the back of the store in between all of the heart wrenching labor to get a quick drink out of my coffee cup and a little, prickly cockroach came popping out to tell me that he had taste-tested it for me. I did not thank him.
Leaving my place of employment, it is important that I shake out all of my belongings. This sometimes leads to further interruptions to all cockroach rallies and scheming taking place in my coat pockets. Some will fall, resembling a scary ticker day parade near the back door of Denver’s filthiest bakery. Then, I run as fast as my quivering legs will move all the way back to my clicking bedroom.