Salesman Van Sciver!
June 12, 2010
There is no reason why you should not give me 5 dollars to write whatever you want in the brand new issue of Blammo and then send it to you. I’m tired of this. Cough up the money.
The new issue is DONE! Finished! I have a box of them sitting on my floor right now where I can see them! And I want to send you one. I really do, because I love this issue so much. It’s very nice. And, I want to share it with you.
I wrote to Heidi Macdonald to see if she would plug Blammo on The Beat. But, she ignored me. Who else should I write to?? 
Here’s myself and my big brother in North Carolina. I’ll draw a comic strip about how that went soon. Maybe. If I can afford it!
I know what you’re thinking:
“Oh, I’ll just buy it if I see it in a comic shop.” Or “Maybe I’ll have the blessed fortune to see Noah face to face sometime, and then I’ll buy one from him, and make him write in it.”
How dare you. If only you knew of my suffering, at your hands! Your passivity is my painful existence. Click here to see for yourself! You see how awful I look right now?
Noah!
Why are my eyes closed? Are you sending me a subtle message? OK, I get it. That doesn’t look like me now. I’m gaunt, balding, frail and feeble. The end is near. Still, I refuse to call a spade a spade. It’s a shovel, and it will always be a shovel, no matter what they offer me. A man’s got to have principles.
Noah fever. Catch it!
Well, I love you, son. Whatever they say about me on the news, it ain’t true. I was set up by the mob to take the fall. Ya gotta believe me.
Take care.
Remember prayer.
It’s time to change your underwear.
Dad
Proof that God loves you and wants you to be happy.
Dad,
I dedicated this issue to you.
I mourn the relationship I never had with you everyday.
This issue does have a lot of cursing in it, but it is all serving the purpose
of portraying the idiomatic speech of a particular character. I am a writer,
and I do not believe in censoring myself when it could cripple a point I am trying to make in a story.
God bless you, too, and I hope to see you again some day.
I love you very much.
So, what’s the rating on this issue? Is there any profanity, vulgarity, blasphemy, obscenity or other evidence of ill-breeding and an abusive father? Any gratuitous truth thrown in for effect? I’ve never read one of your Blammos. Is it like Lassie Come Home or something?
Love, Dad
Found floating in the Delaware River in July 1979